thebiblemachine:

braiker:

Are you fucking kidding me? Did we all just wake up in 1938?

wtat

thebiblemachine:

braiker:

Are you fucking kidding me? Did we all just wake up in 1938?

wtat

55,949 notes

sadstagram:

looking for a boy taller than 5’8 who will take me to parties and punch other boys for me 

31,888 notes

unshaped:

when you didn’t sleep the whole night and then sit in class the next day

image

7,794 notes

anglosexual:

misandryinhaiku:

“women are weaklings!”

i’m strong enough to carry

your corpse to the woods

this haiku is my favorite haiku

291,651 notes

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

46,732 notes

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

112,628 notes

jaaaaaaawn:

methdragon:

be there or 

image

That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed

75,790 notes

MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN:

dont-feel-like-sherlock:

  • two songs
  • two bands
  • two actors
  • two actresses
  • two singers
  • two movies
  • two books
  • two characters
  • two ships
  • two shows
  • two anything

1,586 notes

dadspy:

*smokes pocky stick* yep i remember MY first yaoi 

25,393 notes